Category: Moose’s Droppings

Well, shoot. I’m not much of a people person. There was a time that I was, but I think deep down, I really wasn’t then either. It’s not that I don’t want to be around people, or that I think I am better than anyone else. I’m not. I don’t even care. But I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t judge others. That’s human nature and a different topic. Maybe I’ll explore that one another time. I digress.

People are important to me. Those close to me know that I am loyal as hell; to a fault actually. I’ve burned myself more times than I like to recall because of it. But, it’s who I am, and I don’t give my loyalty out as easily these days; kinda have to be around people to do that. I suppose I ought give that loyalty to myself. Might help a number of issues?

Why am I talking about this? That’s a good question, thanks for asking. Years past, I had many acquaintances, some friends. Not so much these days; kinda have to be around people to do that. But, I was fortunate enough to share a meal with one of those from years back. It was nice. Good to catch up and kinda fun, but weird to reminisce. I forgot a lot about my self. I don’t think repressed it, just forgot. I was someone once. Someone who had fun, an office full of people I worked with, and cared about things other than my immediate sphere of existence. What changed I wonder? Well, I don’t wonder, I’m pretty sure I know, and I know I made those choices. Yet, I sit here wondering if those things were important to me then, or if it’s even important to me now. I’m not a sociopath. I’m a big ass teddy bear and somewhat of a pushover. Nevertheless, I enjoyed leaving the comfort of me for a moment and have lunch with an old friend.

For some reason, in almost everything I do, I gravitate toward the leadership position; especially when in groups. Not because I want things done my way; more because I think tasks prosper with good direction while working in groups. Projects need leadership and people need space to do what they’re best at. I’m NOT best at everything that needs doing. But, I am a good problem solver. At least I think I am. Also, I’ve learned that I have a ton of room to improve when part of a team of others. (I am working very hard to change this; I know things are way better when teamwork is successful.) The fundamental problem is that I don’t trust most people which leads me to not like being around people. Too many times people have proven me right. Now that is a mouthful; it needs inspection.

Do I not trust people because I have a set inner belief that people can’t be trusted, so I automatically go that direction, undeservedly to those I meet? Yah, that’s probably part of it. Is it my own insecurity? Yah, probably. Is it cowardice? Maybe, but that has many levels to dissect as well, and I am not ready to type the pages around that one. I don’t do casual very well. If something is worth it, it’s all in for me. (My reality check is still in the mail.) To be clear, I wasn’t always the most trustworthy person in the past, and probably was that person I am bitching about now. Back then, it was easy for me to say “yah, I’ll go do that” and never show up. Nowadays, if I say I’ll be there, I will be, and ten minutes early to boot. However, this has made me largely noncommittal to most things if I don’t outright say no. I already have a ton of shit going on that’s important to me and I am super protective of my time. Pretty fucking selfish, I know.

What I do know is that people are important. People are important for people. I sometimes crave for more people to be in my sphere. But, I want to be around people that I trust. Trust is a different animal. In my head, I don’t know that anyone can be wholly trusted (outside of my sphere). Yet, I expect others to wholly trust me, because I am trustworthy. That’s a huge contradiction if I’ve ever said one. I can be trusted, but nobody else can? I think not. There have got to be others out there that are trustworthy. So, why is it that I constantly find reasons to distrust? I mean shit, am I really that fucking nit-picky?

Yup. Me thinks, yes. This is a me problem, no doubt.

Depeche mode has already unwrapped most of this:

I can’t understand
What makes a man
Hate another man
Help me understand

People are people, so why should it be
You and I should get along so awfully?

Thank goodness for music. I don’t know where I’d be.

Next up, how AI is going to be really, really great. And then fuck us all. Not a me problem.

I would be lying if I said I didn’t have high hopes. I did. Was it a failure? I guess that depends on who you ask. But if you’re asking me, The Moose, I would say it was a resounding successful failure. We came. We recorded. We edited. We posted. We Twittered. We failed. We learned. So, I chalk it up as success by way of failure. Also, post-pandemic (I hate that term), Salty and I have had some significant life changes that have impeded our ability to connect, record, edit, and post as often as we should. Of course, had the podcast had any non-success via failure, AKA success, we may have figured a way to keep it going. With that said, the Cerebral Goo! podcast is not dead, it’s just in a state of hibernation that may result in death, or a possible emergence into a sparse spring. We’ll see, I’m still investigating possibilities.

In light of this successful failure, and to save some money, we will be moving/archiving past podcasts to our youtube channel. Mosty so the podcasts have a place to live/hibernate and a relative presence in the decaying entity that is the World Wide Web. This will be done over time and updates will be posted here.

In the  meantime, I have made a self-commitment to regularly post on the Cerebral Goo! blog. At least, more regular than once a year. I am going to shoot for once a week, or if and when a fancy strikes. Not that that the blog has or had anymore success than the Podcast did —  I think one post got 16 views, but it is a great outlet for me, and serves as a method of self-care. For everyone else, it’s no-care. Nevertheless, I’m going to make the attempt.

Stay tuned. More Goo is on the way. (I was going to say coming, but thought that a tad too punny.)

Well, finally, it’s done. Eight new episodes are completed and ready to be posted; six months have been utterly wasted cutting, clipping, recording, and re-recording, dubbing, scratching, scathing, and scrubbing to make them perfectly perfect for all walks of life. No cussing, no analysis, no opinions, and no debate on issues. So, in essence, eight episodes of nothing; just air of yore. I’d say dead air, but that may be offensive to air that is circling the drain or the hot air that keeps many balloons and some people afloat. And yet, I am sure someone, somewhere will take offense.  Good thing that I am only April fooling; there are no new podcast episodes ready to be posted. However, there are many joyfully goo-full Cerebral Goo episodes that I am back to actually working on to actually post at some point in the future. 🥳

Speaking of April Fools Day; WTH?!? Seriously, who’s idea was it to make a day when it’s okay to fuck with people and be instantly exonerated by saying “Got ya! April fools!” You cancelled all of your wedding plans and lost your deposits because I told you I caught your betrothed motorboating your sister. “April fools! Got ya! Geez, relax, it was just a joke. Not my fault you cancelled all those plans and lost hundreds of dollars.”

If you really care, you can read about April Fools’ history here, but the bottom line is that humans apparently love to gain from others’ misery. So much in fact, we actually normalized it for one special day every year since France changed the Julian calendar to the Gregorian calendar. Surprise, surprise, humans love to cause each other pain and suffering for a good laugh. Silly gowks, geez.

Finally, speaking of April fools, how about that Mr. and Mrs. Smith? I’m sure many people have wanted to slap Rock for many things over many decades, but very few — actually only one, have in fact had the balls, and or literal celebrity immunity to get away with it and receive a standing ovation shortly following. You can’t buy that kind of impunity from such hypocritical bullshit, it must be earned. That’s when one knows they’ve reached the pinnacle; truly top shelf privilege shining above the rest.

This little PSA is brought to you by the Friday thoughts in Moose’s Cerebral Goo. However, I feel I must provide a spoiler alert for this one: there are a few f-bombs in here, and Ima probably ruin Tic Tacs for you. You’ve been warned.

They’re tiny, fruity, and wonderfully delicious…a veritable fruit adventure. And, they’re zero calories. Yes, ZERO calories. So, theoretically, I could eat 200,000 of them with no adverse consequences. None, just pure unadulterated yumminess without the guilt.

But wait, how’s that so? The first fucking ingredient is sugar. Sugar! Pretty sure that sugar has caloric content. So, off I went to Dr. Google to find out the ‘truth’ of all this purposefully scant bullshit brought to me by the makers of Tic Tac (the most wonderful shit ever), Ferrero Brands.

According to the Tic Tac website, they can fuck with the nutrition label on Tic Tacs due to an FDA loophole: “Tic Tac® mints do contain sugar as listed in the ingredient statement. However, since the amount of sugar per serving (1 mint) is less than 0.5 grams, FDA labeling requirements permit the Nutrition Facts to state that there are 0 grams of sugar per serving.” LOFL, serving size: 1 mint. Who the fuck eats only one Tic Tac at a time?

So here’s the truth of it — grab a seat, cause you’ll wanna sit down for this: a single Tic Tac actually contains 1.9 calories. Fuuuuuuuuuck. So, the little box that I can, and have thrown back in one shot, 38 Tics/box = 74.1 calories. The bigger box, 200 Tics = 380 calories. Woops.

To make this realization even sweeter (see what I did there?), many of the other ingredients are not just bad for me, they’re really bad. According the the website isitbadforyou.com, possible long term side effects from consuming the ingredients contained in Tic Tacs in large quantities may include tooth decay (duh), weight gain (sure), cancer (WTF!?!), central nervous system damage (brain and spinal cord, again WTF!?!), and diabetes. I may be fucked here. Seems like there should be a surgeon general’s warning on these tiny little “zero calorie” grains of packaged death. So much for a good Friday Feel.

So, what’s the damn point of nutrition labels? I’m pissed. Better go have a Tic or two (boxes). In the meantime, check out the Cerebral Goo podcast if you haven’t yet. There are a couple of recent new ones, and podcast episode 109 is waiting in the wings. Just waiting on Salty to give it the green dye #7 light.

I’ve got to say, while this shit is fun, it is super time consuming. I’m talking Homer Simpson “I, Carumbus” (Season 32, Episode 2) mammoth eating consuming.

With that said, I have something like eight Cerebral Goo episodes in the queue to edit and post. Yay for our seven listeners…there’s a lot more coming. ~sigh~ for me. That’s a shit-ton of editing. Trust me, you don’t want to hear the unedited audio. To add to that, I am trying to get the Cerebral Goo YouTube channel up and rolling, and of course, the much promised and yet to be delivered Instagram. Naturally, those two are intended to help Cerebral Goo get more listeners. But I have work I’m paid to deliver on too. I don’t want to read like I am bitching. I’m not. (But I sorta am). It’s just that Cerebral Goo is a lot of work, that thus far has no return. So, I find myself having to prioritize. I tell 14, all the time, that time management is all about prioritizing. He’s doing a far better job than I. At least that’s a win!

I love Cerebral Goo. It’s definitely a passion project, and it’s worth the resources we’ve poured, nay, gushed as if the Hoover Dam burst -think “San Andreas” (DJ aka The Rock), into it. That was an entertaining movie by the way. Anyway, priorities…I am doing what I can when I can, and that will result in a not-so-steady stream of podcast and social media releases. To that end, check back often for updates. Better yet, join our mailing list for instant updates on new material.

Podcast 107 is imminent, and a fun listen. I am guessing a week or so, which translates to within a month. While I am on the subject, summer is over; not officially over according to the calendar, but according to the recommencement of our temporarily interrupted tradition of in-person schooling. As such, Salty is back in school, doing what she does. She’s busting her ass and doing everything she can to avoid falling asleep in, and or salting her dinner with tears each night. That puts a small damper on the Goo…for now. But, as I previously mentioned, that’s totally okay, because there are a slew of episodes waiting to be hacked and posted to finish out Cerebral Goo Season one.

Will there be a season two? Thanks for asking. <crickets>

Right now I am pondering a quote from the The Power of Myth by Joseph Campbell. “All the gods, all the heavens, all the hells, are within you.” You might also recognize this from the book by Mitchell Zuckoff and subsequent movie 13 Hours: The Inside Account of What Really Happened in Benghazi. I’d love to sound really cerebral and say that I first read the quote in The Power of Myth, but no, I read it in Zuckoff’s book. Well, in all honesty, I heard it while listening to the audio book.  Regardless, while it’s an outstanding quote, it’s also a tad dangerous.

My take: everything a person needs to be successful*, or not, resides within the core of their soul and all that supports it — personal goo. We are singularly responsible for our outcomes. Damn, that was really easy to say! All of a sudden, I am motivated to go fulfil my every goal and desire. Fuck.

There is so much contained within this quote. Scholars have written obscure essays, professors have dedicated months to its contemplation, and students have considered their fate while correlating its significance on paper.

I used to be a quote guy. Not so much anymore. They’ve become tattoo clichés and coffee mug platitudes. They’ve been manipulated to fit narratives that would make the originators spin their graves. Alas, welcome to the human race. I like data, hard numbers, and evidence. Though these days, even those are increasingly hard to come by. At least actual, true, and uncorrupted data. But this quote, for some reason resonates with me.

I know my tomorrow is mine to mold. Yes, I allow outside influences to sway that sculpture, by choice I might add; but, with the goo in my head, I feel limited and bound in what the final artwork resembles. I understand and accept that these are mine, my choices, and that I have every opportunity to choose to change them. I know that all the gods, all the heavens, all the hells, are within me; and that gives me hope. No, I don’t need to see a therapist. I believe Salty has that shit polished. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Battles may be won here and there during the war, but time is always the ultimate victor. Humankind has tried over and again to control time; books have been written about it, visionaries and physicists have postulated, and regular folks have tried their (our) best to reach out with their feelings to bend, poke a hole in, manipulate, engineer, massage, or otherwise influence this solitary dimension of existence. It’s the singular driving force of life, at least as we know it, here in this quickly imploding civilization. Although, if we consider what Einstein proposed, our observance of this impending implosion will be observed at a different time for others. Others much further away of course, but at a different time nevertheless. I don’t advise that you think too deeply on this, lest you get pulled into a black hole. See what I did there? Moving on.

We humans love to think we have control, or at least some semblance of control. We believe that we are in and or have control. Excuse me while I wipe away the snot from my face from turbulent laughing. Please notice that I did not say “uncontrollably” laughing. That would indicate that I had no control over my laughing. I do. So, back to it. We have no control, I mean I do, but we do not, especially over time. Time, and its passing, both suck and are awesome, often at the same moment, but typically not. Are there moments that I’d like to relive, or moments in my past that I’d like to alter? Possibly, but I’d never admit those things to anyone other than my therapist; though, seeing as I don’t have one, we’ll stick with absolutely no one. Well, maybe Salty, and maybe on a Cerebral Goo podcast, but you’d have to listen to find out. I cannot control whether you listen though, so make the decision to take a second to listen, you might likey.

Back to control. We have none, time owns that arena. So, is time inanimate? If not, where’s the button? We can affect both inanimate and some animate things (think pets, or lions and tigers if you’re big into Netflix), right? Ah, but time is not inanimate or animate. I’ve read that its existence is much like trying to define the existence of supernatural forces. It’s not inanimate, but it’s not something that can be captured, or controlled. And, time moves, not with motion, but motion occurs within its realm, and evidence of those motions allows future us’s a glimpse into the past. As I write, and reread this, I am looking at history. Good thing I have a delete button, which is cool, cause I can delete that/this history.  Woa, I am getting Virginia Woolf like…

I am not a physicist, nor will I ever be one, but time, and all that it controls, will always piss me off (just FYI, MS Word is suggesting I say “make me unhappy” here). Or, time may help to increase my happiness. Depends on the day. Nay, the time of day. You win again time. Fucking time.

I’m not bitching. Well, kinda, but hear me out. Life is super annoying when it does that thing where it lets us know who’s really in charge. Hint, it’s not us. Control is an illusion, and anybody that says different, while I respect their opinion, is fucking nuts. Respectfully nuts. Though, it feels good to think that I am in control. So, there’s the excuse for no new Cerebral Goo podcasts for a touch. But, the good news is that 106 is in the final stages of approval and will be up as soon as Salty gets her shit together. Which, much like COVID, may be a lightless tunnel.

Sorry for the shitty mood. In all honesty, Salty is a rock, and doing Cerebral Goo for nothing. Literally nothing. At least for now. Though, she’s a good mark for blame. At least in this case. Paybacks for 40+ years of projecting. That said, we’re going to try a new podcast delivery method. It’s called YouTube, and we’re hoping that it gets us a bit more traction. Of course, it could be that the Cerebral Goo Podcast really just sucks and is gaining no traction because people just don’t like it. If that’s the case, so be it. But, we have no towels to throw right now, so none will be thrown. Not yet. If it comes to that, I’ll buy us some and expense them to Cerebral Goo, which will then likely be entering that endless void of bankruptcy graveyards. So, win-win.

106 is coming, promise. Quickly following that will be 107. Promise.